Sermon at St. Stephen's Episcopal Church, Boise, Idaho

Sermon preached by Eileen at St. Stephan's Episcopal Church, Boise, Idaho, August 2014

Walk-On

In just 3 days, I will fly out of Boise on my way to Spain, to walk the Camino de Santiago de Compostela, a 500 mile pilgrimage. This seems like a crazy thing to do for a woman who has had a desk-job for the past 17 years, who is quickly approaching 60, and who would rather be laying in the sun reading a good book then walking in the hot sun and feeling the sweat creep down her back under a most burdensome backpack.  A friend of mine asked me the other night, couldn’t you just take a nice walk on the beach on a warm Caribbean Island: resting to have a fruity drink with a pretty little umbrella and breathe in the gorgeous view.  Well no, apparently not.

A few years ago I was sitting here in the pew at St. Stephen’s Episcopal church listening to our new Canon for Ministry, Lucinda tell about her spiritual journey in walking the Camino de Santiago de Compostela and I said, “I have to do that”.  Immediately following the service we went to find the movie “The Way”, and I knew I had to walk the Camino.  Now, it does not make one bit of sense for me to do this.  I don’t take long walks and I don’t backpack.  I don’t leave home for 40 days.  I don’t do these things! I work! I serve people with disabilities and I take care of my family.

But…the Holy Spirit, she is sneaky.  There is this calling, calling, calling…  Get back on the path…walk...walk the Camino.

Let me give you a bit of history. About 15 years ago my husband Doug wrote an article for the magazine Diaconeo.  The article was published. It was called “I Married a Deacon”.  It is a beautiful story, relating how Doug and I met in the formation for ministry process and how we were ordained together, he a priest and me a deacon just 6 months after we were married.  Our whole life together has centered on our ministry.  He relates in the article how when we entered the ministry we were so filled with hope, passion and love.  We were determined to change the world, working for justice for all people. We might have been just a little overzealous.    My best friend’s family lovingly (at least I think so) referred to me as an RN, Religious Nut.  We worked tirelessly in the church and in the community.  Bishop John Thornton once said that the work could be seductive, you just don’t want to stop.  And wow, that was true for us and then things changed.

Things in the church changed, we changed, we lost my mom, almost lost my daughter and grandson and Doug was diagnosed with MS.  The one thing Doug always had was boundless energy and we fed each other with that mutual energy for mission.  Things fell apart, unraveled so quickly.  This of course was not the first time difficult things had happened in our lives; we have suffered through many things.  The death of siblings, parents, illness, loss of Doug’s daughter, financial strains, divorce, single parenthood…  But this loss was a wound to our soul.

Suddenly we came up short, we were at a loss, the church that had surrounded us was not there and we were coping with a really big demon at a time when our personal reserves were very low.  The life we were building was being changed forever.  The path forward became blurry we lost the voice in our hearts that called us to ministry each day.  We were lost.  We drifted for a long time, our faith in our church, in our God and each other faltered.  It was the dark night of the soul.

But God does not leave us there, I know this and I experienced this. God keeps calling, even when we plug our ears and turn away in distrust.  Slowly, ever so slowly, we began to hear again. I listened to Lucinda’s sermon, I reflected on the Diocesan Motto a couple of years ago, “To Take the Next Right Step”, and I listened to an interview of a man that decided to spend a year of “just saying yes” to new opportunities.  And so I said, this year I will say YES.  My mantra will be “Take the Next Right Step.  Rev. Alice Farquhar-Mayes gave me the saying:  Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it is about learning to dance in the rain.  And so last year, when Fr. Dave asked me to Deacon I said YES.  When Tobi asked me to be the Spiritual Director for Women’s Camp, I said YES.  The Holy Spirit kept whispering, Camino de Santiago, Camino de Santiago, Camino de Santiago.  And I said YES!

But wait, the one person I have journeyed with for the past 20 years cannot walk, cannot walk with me.  We have always walked together on this spiritual journey; I don’t want to go alone, more importantly I don’t want to leave Doug behind.  This has been our ministry.

In April we walked/strolled with the scooter the MS walk, a fundraiser for MS and I heard the answer.  I will walk this journey with Doug and for Doug.  I will carry him and all people who suffer from autoimmune diseases in my prayers and in my steps.  I will pray for healing.  I will walk for those who cannot.  I will keep a blog and ask those who read it to consider donating and praying with me for those who suffer from autoimmune diseases.  You see my son in law, whom I love dearly, has lupus. I will pray for him. My daughter will walk with me.  We will walk because we can walk.

I invite all of you to listen to the Spirit, to say YES, to walk your own Camino, your own spiritual path.  You see through all this I have learned and relearned.  God is with us.  We each have a path, the path may be long, it may difficult but it is worth the journey.  Walk-On! Enjoy this journey, this path that lies before you.  We all have a path that is unique to us: hilly, bumpy, steep, smooth and unpredictable, but your life has a purpose. God has a purpose, a path for you. Find it!  Listen for it.  Trust in God. 

Palm 130:5, I wait for the LORD, my soul waits and in his word I hope.